Since the beginning of freshman year, I’ve lost myself. There were times when I lost faith in what I believed in; I did things that I’d never thought I’d do. My tolerance level rose and my base line lowered. It didn’t really bother me until last Sunday. I guess before then, I was just in denial. Ever since Sunday, I was really disappointed in myself. I couldn’t help but ask: “What happened to that well-respected Anita?” I contemplated. After extended reflection, I realized that I was just going through an experimental phase; I wanted the “college” experience. I wanted to know how it feels to have a social life,to party, to be loved, to stay out late. I guess you could say that I got the college experience I was looking for but now I am done with experimenting. It’s time to revert back to that shy, reserved nerd that I was before entering college. It’s time to set my priorities straight again. Priorities:
1. GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL!
2. Learning to say NO.
No more going to frat parties, no more going to bars and no more slacking. No dating either.
I absolutely wasn’t in the right state of mind last night. I really enjoyed your company but I know I shouldn’t have seen you last night at all. I felt bad saying no on Valentines day and deciding to make up for it on saturday was a big mistake. I really need to clear things up soon!
Making me jealous will only push me away from you. It won’t make me want you more. I’m not very competitive, if I see someone who’s making you a lot happier than I am, I’ll back up because I’ll assume you want that person a lot more. Although it’ll hurt seeing someone other than me make you happy, I’ll leave it to them to keep you entertained. I don’t like the feeling of being unwanted or being just second best. I’m a very jealous person and I hate it.