Since the beginning of freshman year, I’ve lost myself. There were times when I lost faith in what I believed in; I did things that I’d never thought I’d do. My tolerance level rose and my base line lowered. It didn’t really bother me until last Sunday. I guess before then, I was just in denial. Ever since Sunday, I was really disappointed in myself. I couldn’t help but ask: “What happened to that well-respected Anita?” I contemplated. After extended reflection, I realized that I was just going through an experimental phase; I wanted the “college” experience. I wanted to know how it feels to have a social life,to party, to be loved, to stay out late. I guess you could say that I got the college experience I was looking for but now I am done with experimenting. It’s time to revert back to that shy, reserved nerd that I was before entering college. It’s time to set my priorities straight again. Priorities:
1. GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL!
2. Learning to say NO.
No more going to frat parties, no more going to bars and no more slacking. No dating either.
Making me jealous will only push me away from you. It won’t make me want you more. I’m not very competitive, if I see someone who’s making you a lot happier than I am, I’ll back up because I’ll assume you want that person a lot more. Although it’ll hurt seeing someone other than me make you happy, I’ll leave it to them to keep you entertained. I don’t like the feeling of being unwanted or being just second best. I’m a very jealous person and I hate it.
So today I went to the “Grove” again and I have to say it’ll be my last. I’m just really not into the partying, the drinking and hooking up. It was an interesting experience though. It’s just not what I would want to do every weekend like all the other college students here…