This past weekend was the last day of camp. My very last symphony orchestra camp. It was amazing although I ended up getting sick. Had a lot of fun moments and a lot of sad moments. I realized over camp that I’ve completely wasted a lot of time on someone that just isn’t worth it. I’ve never even existed in that person’s mind. But, that’s okay, it’s not too late to move on and find someone worth it : D
Today, I had to write a journey on who would be my ideal partner. Well, personally, I thought that it was a really hard prompt. I’m still young and I have no idea what exactly I want in him not to mention, what I want in someone else.
Only silence remains. The past is the past and we can’t return to the past. No matter how much I would have loved to stay in the past, I’m here in the present. I can only reminisce about all our joyous moments. Although I would’ve wanted things to end differently, I know that’s never going to happen because nothing I say or do will change the present. I’m simply not your cup of tea. I would love to tell I’m mad or that I’m jealous or that I’m simply give up but, I won’t. That’s simply pointless. So, as we each move on with our lives all that remains between us is simply silence.
College and Relapse
Lately, I been really busy with college and just school. I’ve had two interviews this past week. One from my dream college and one from a prestigious university. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would have the audacity to apply to those two schools. And never would I imagine actually landing an interview. Overall, the interviews went fairly well ;) I guess I will have a chance to soar and leave this rock which I call home.
On the other note, life is currently is a hot mess. There is simply so much drama happening. And PROM, those lovely four letters never ceases to cause trouble. It might be wonderful for others but to me, PROM is just another disaster waiting to happen. It’s not that I don’t like proms, it’s the drama and stress that comes with it. I guess you could say “tis the seasons to find a date”; and this is the hardest task of all. Last year, this wasn’t a problem because most people just went stag but, this year, it’s a different story. Unlike most girls, I don’t have the audacity to ask someone, even a friend to be my date. (Well, I’m kinda having a relapse about someone but, I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to go anywhere. I know for certain it’s one-sided and I figured no sense trying to rekindle something that will never work out.) And most definitely, no guy in their right minds would want me as their date. So, pretty much I’m stuck on a boat all by myself. I wouldn’t mind if some of my friends were going stag but, pretty much all of them are going with dates. Which leaves me STUCK!
Honestly, I’m jelly.. -___________-
Reflecting on the past 17 years of my life, I realize how fortunate am I. I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. Today I would like to thank my family, friends, teachers and everyone that’s been part of my life. Thank you for being in my life. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! <3
I have a lot of things going on and I’m having conflicted feelings about everything. I don’t know what I’m going to do about college. I still have a big decision to make regarding college.. I don’t know what’s wrong with everyone around me either. Everyone’s getting irritated with everyone. I’m pretty sure I’m being irritating too o.o That’s bothering me. It seems like I’ve irritated everyone and they have this grudge against me :O. I also have this really bad feeling inside me. It’s because I can’t disclose everything I’m doing. If I do, I will be bothered because of it. I know if people find out, they will think that I am indirectly degrading them. I don’t want that. I don’t want them to feel terrible . But, if I don’t them, it feels like I’m lying to them >.< . I really don’t know! I wish I could tell them o.o I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just don’t know. Too many hard decisions this year!
Two Different Worlds
We’re from two different worlds. The past is the past and present is what matters the most. You and I have different goals and we will go our separate paths. But, thank you for being in my life. I will always remember and cherish the memories I had with you.
It seems as if I can’t do anything right… It feels like I’m annoying everyone. Lately, I feel like I’m drifting away from them. I just hate it how it feels like I’m being ignored.. Am I really that annoying? It makes me wonder… The people I call friend, are they really my friends? I guess I’m just an utility friend; only there when they need help. I guess my parents are right, I’m stupid for believing that if i help someone, they’ll eventually help me back or appreciate my help.
I don’t ask for much. I just ask that you guys to be there for me when I need someone. I just ask for someone to take me seriously.